Friday, 23 May 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #29 - How To Build A Cinematic Universe

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Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to become a scene stealing extra because... well we have more than enough doctors around these days and us film freaks need something to fund our netflix accounts. Problem is, no matter how hard you try to steal the spotlight, most directors will cut you out in the editing suite. I know. It's ridiculous. Film makers can go mad with power yet half the time, they can't even do their jobs properly.
Take a look at the mammoth blockbusters coming out these days. Every studio seems desperate to build their own cinematic universe so they can keep churning out ready made sequels for the masses that require little or no introduction. Why waste time on original thought when you can just recycle the same characters and settings over and over? Am I right guys??? There's plenty of money to be made if you can build your very own cinematic universe; just ask Marvel! So let's forget our dream of becoming extras, purge all creativity from our minds and grab a directors chair as we read on for today's lesson.

Monday, 19 May 2014

Ryan Gosling's Directorial Debut Lost River Has A Teaser Trailer Out!

Women worldwide suffered Post-Traumatic Gosling Syndrome (PTGS) when the charming young actor who stole audiences hearts in Drive and Blue Valentine announced he would be taking a break from acting... to concentrate on directing. Usually, such a decision instills fear in the hearts and minds of cinema lovers everywhere, but Gosling looks set to buck the trend with his directorial debut Lost River, which premieres this week at Cannes Film Festival.

Friday, 9 May 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #28 - How To Become a Scene Stealing Extra

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Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to make an awesome sequel. Hopefully, the makers of the 'critically lauded' movie Zombeavers will have read the article and will be implementing my advice at every step while they begin work on the inevitable sequel. I'm pretty sure zombie beavers are going to be huge this year, so I'll just wait by my front door, staring longingly at my letterbox for the cheque which will be on it's way in no time at all...
Once I receive my cheque, I'm sure I'll no longer have to work full-time, so goodbye teaching and hello to a life of endless chicken binging and netflix marathons... Living the dream right? Obviously yes, but even that could get boring eventually, so I may work part-time occasionally, just to distract myself from the copious amounts of chicken lining my stomach.
So what part-time job requires zero talent and effort, but still sounds pretty awesome if you're a movie fan? I've got it! Get ready to practice your smize, wave those arms around and generally be an attention seeking asshole as you read on for today's lesson.

Thursday, 8 May 2014

Power Rangers Set To Hit The Big Screen Again... Whether You Like It Or Not!

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Depending on your age, this franchise will trigger a variety of reactions. Some of you may watch the ninety billionth incarnation of the TV show currently airing and love it. Some of you may remember watching Power Rangers as a kid and feel pretty old right now... don't worry guys, I hear you! Finally, there's the older generation who won't even know what the hell I'm talking about. If so, then stick around anyway; this information will probably be useful in a few summers time.

Friday, 25 April 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #27 - How To Make The Ultimate Sequel

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Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to change their gender. Body swapping is probably the best way to go here, but just make sure you don't accidentally swap with a child or you'll have to go through puberty all over again, knowing exactly what to expect this time...
There is something to be said for seeing the world through the eyes of a child though. Even the lamest blockbusters had a certain magic to them which enchanted my tiny 9 year old mind. How else can I explain my obsession with Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin? It sure as hell wasn't anything to do with the acting, writing or directing! Let's help kids of the future escape these banal sequels here in today's lesson so grab your laptop, smash open that piggy bank and pull up your director's chair.

Monday, 14 April 2014

Avatar 2, 3 and 4 Are Finally On Their Way... Kind Of!

Things may have seemed a bit quiet on the Avatar front recently, but James Cameron is not one to just sit on his laurels and do nothing. Lucky sci-fi fans got the latest scoop on the Avatar franchise from Cameron during an AMA session (Ask Me Anything Q&A) on Reddit last Saturday.

Friday, 11 April 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #26 - How To Change Your Gender

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Last time, Film School Friday taught readers how to annoy people at the cinema. If you got kicked out of the new Captain America movie then I apologize, but remember to only use your new found skills sparingly as a revenge tactic on those who munch natchos too loudly. With great power, comes great responsibility...
Apologies also for being a week late with this new edition of Film School Friday. Life in South Korea is a whirlwind of donuts and soju which takes some getting used to. I barely had to time to watch the new Captain America movie 6 times. That's how busy I am!
The temptation to tenuously link today's feature with the previous edition is as strong as ever, but today I will resist and simply introduce  our new lesson.