Friday 29 November 2013

Film School Friday Lesson #14 - How To Invade The Planet Earth

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Last week, Film School Friday taught our loyal readers how to survive an awkward family gathering but in the real world, there are far more dangerous things we must learn to survive if we're going to make it to 2014. Global warming. Terrorism. Miley Cyrus...But all of these threats to civilization mean nothing if we don't survive as a species. Movies have taught me literally everything I know and so I can guarantee that even if we survive these other threats, aliens will invade the planet Earth. Game over man, GAME OVER!

Now I don't know why alien species want our planet so badly. Maybe their own planet is dying out or maybe it's for the twinkies, but whatever the reason, we need to prepare, so let's get inside the mind of our enemy and pretend for just a few minutes that we are the invading force. That way, we'll know best how to defend ourselves, so polish your laser guns, wash your spaceships and lube up your probes as we read today's lesson.

Monday 25 November 2013

Breaking Emotions Blogathon Week #4 - Hate & Love

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Blogathons are awesome. They're a great way for film bloggers to stumble upon sites that they may not have come across before and they're always fun to tackle. Lucky for me then, that I recently discovered a brand new blogathon titled 'Breaking Emotions' on the Mettel Ray site. Each week, bloggers are asked to pick three movie scenes that best sum up a particular emotion for them. Last week, the two emotions chosen were 'smiles' and 'thrills'. Today, for the last week, we're tackling 'hate' and 'love'. To find out more about the blogathon, click here and to see which scenes I've chosen, read on after the jump. Go on. You know you wanna!

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Friday 22 November 2013

FSF #13 - Thanksgiving: How To Survive An Awkward Family Gathering

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Last week, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to become anime heroes. While doing my research for the article, one thing really stood out to me. Why are there no turkey pokemon? The first Pokemon film featured a psychic killer cat for God's sake and there are plenty of bird pokemon in the games yet godammit there isn't a single turkey to be found. Let's pay respect to the turkey this week then, that most noble of birds, in a feature inspired by the Thanksgiving season... Phew! That was a pretty tenuous link, even for me!

Lesson #13 - How To Survive An Awkward Family Gathering
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Families are awkward. They just are and unfortunately, Thanksgiving is one of those times when you're forced to put aside your differences and join annoying relatives to celebrate the genocide of an indigenous race. But what do you do if your son-in-law starts talking about milking cat nipples like Ben Stiller did in Meet The Parents? Think that's awkward? The Danish film Festen featured a man accuse his father of sexually abusing him at his 60th birthday. Now that's awkward. If you want to learn how to avoid such mishaps at your Thanksgiving, roast the yams, switch the football on and stuff the turkey as we learn how to survive an awkward family gathering.

Monday 18 November 2013

Breaking Emotions Blogathon Week #3 - Smiles & Thrills

brmo5

Blogathons are awesome. They're a great way for film bloggers to stumble upon sites that they may not have come across before and they're always fun to tackle. Lucky for me then, that I recently discovered a brand new blogathon titled 'Breaking Emotions' on the Mettel Ray site. Each week, bloggers are asked to pick three movie scenes that best sum up a particular emotion for them. Last week, the two emotions chosen were 'fear' and 'awkward'. This week, we're tackling tears and surprise. To find out more about the blogathon, click here and to see which scenes I've chosen, read on after the jump. Go on. You know you wanna!

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Friday 15 November 2013

Film School Friday Lesson #12 - How To Become An Anime Hero

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Last week, Film School Friday taught readers how to make their very own version of a Hitchcock movie. If you did take my advice, then quite frankly, I'm surprised you're still reading this feature. Shouldn't you be promoting your film for the upcoming Razzies? I hear McG has a new film out so there's stiff competition ahead! Oh, and if you've been sued by Hitchcock's estate, we never spoke.

Now where was I? Ah yes. Mistaken identity has always been a strong theme in Hitchcock's work so bizarrely, this got me thinking about anime. I've never seen more confused looking characters than I have in Japanese animation. Am I a boy? Am I a girl? Am I a about to be sexually assaulted by an octopus? I thought it might be best to try and clear the air with today's lesson so grab some hair gel, sharpen your sword and brush up on your Japanese as you read on. This one's for the fan boys.

Monday 11 November 2013

Breaking Emotions Blogathon Week #2 - Tears & Surprise

brmo5

Blogathons are awesome. They're a great way for film bloggers to stumble upon sites that they may not have come across before and they're always fun to tackle. Lucky for me then, that I recently discovered a brand new blogathon titled 'Breaking Emotions' on the Mettel Ray site. Each week, bloggers are asked to pick three movie scenes that best sum up a particular emotion for them. Last week, the two emotions chosen were 'fear' and 'awkward'. This week, we're tackling tears and surprise. To find out more about the blogathon, click here and to see which scenes I've chosen, read on after the jump. Go on. You know you wanna!

Friday 8 November 2013

Thor: The Dark World Review


Marvel is on top of the world right now, on top of the Nine Realms in fact, but even just ten years ago, it was hard to imagine that the prolific studios would have two of the five most successful movies of all time under their belt. Now, at the brink of Marvel's plan for Phase Three, the studio is back with the third cinematic outing from the God of Thunder himself, Thor (Chris Hemsworth). Yes, there is a colon in the title and yes, the word 'dark' is prominent, but does Thor: The Dark World deliver or should it be called something more condemning like Thor: The Lame World but you know, actually clever?

FSF #11 - Directing Masterclass: Alfred Hitchcock

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After our mammoth Halloween two-parter, Film School Friday took a break for the holidays. I'm sure the worldwide increase in suicide rates was purely coincidental but just in case, don't fret; school is back in session and what's more, we've returned with a brand new feature. Our acting masterclass with Matthew McConaughey was a huge hit - one whole comment! - so I've decided to open the feature out to film makers.

HitchbirdsFor our first directing masterclass, I knew I had to pick one of the greats and who better than the Master of Suspense, the King of Cameos, the Patron Saint of Diabetes? That's right kids. We're talking Hitchcock, so shave your head, stock up on cakes and get your binoculars out as we learn how to direct the perfect Hitchcock film.

FSF #11 - Directing Masterclass: Alfred Hitchcock

As one of the most famous directors of all time, Hitchcock made over fifty films throughout his career, so if you want to attain his level of fame, then file the divorce papers and put the kids up for adoption. Time is no longer your friend and neither are salty treats.

Thursday 7 November 2013

Breaking Emotions Blogathon Week #1 - Fear/Awkward

brmo5

Blogathons are awesome. They're a great way for film bloggers to stumble upon sites that they may not have come across before and they're always fun to tackle. Lucky for me then, that I just discovered a brand new blogathon titled 'Breaking Emotions' on the Mettel Ray site. Each week, bloggers are asked to pick three movie scenes that best sum up a particular emotion for them. The first two emotions chosen this week are 'fear' and 'awkward'. To find out more about the blogathon, click here and to see which scenes I've chosen, read on after the jump. Go on. You know you wanna!

Sunday 3 November 2013

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa - The Review


With Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, director Jeff Tremaine continued his winning streak, helming his fourth consecutive Jackass film to #1 in the US with help from fellow screenwriters Knoxville and Spike Jonze, the co-creators of the Jackass show. Success is one thing, but have the boys still got it or is Bad Grandpa as dated as its octogenarian star?