Sunday 12 October 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy TV Series: First Footage

It's official! The biggest movie of the year so far is now making its way to the small screen, despite producers recently claiming that a Guardians of the Galaxy series was only a rumor. Marvel's Head of Television Jeff Loeb made the announcement at New York Comic Con this week, stating that "Everyone wants more of Star-Lord and his crew – now they’ll get it.” 

Friday 12 September 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #37 - How To Make A Disney Movie


Last time, Film School Friday taught readers how to stay awake for late night movies. If you invested in the kind of eye clamps seen in A Clockwork Orange, your eyes will now be dryer than the Sahara Desert and you probably lost your sight around three days ago. That's ok though. Just ask your children or a friend to read to you from now on. It will be like the audio book version, but instead of hearing someone famous and talented speak our words, you'll just have to endure the dulcet tones of someone you already know.

It's unfortunate that you're now blind, as you'll no longer be able to appreciate the beauty of animation from production companies like Disney, but that doesn't mean the rest of us can't enjoy these timeless classics, so grab a paintbrush, put on a cartoon voice and grab a camera as we read on for today's lesson.

Friday 5 September 2014

Al Pacino Stars In A New Trailer For The Humbling

After years of sub-par film roles, Al Pacino is finally ready for a comeback worthy of his talents. Performances in David Gordon Green's Manglehorn and the comedy Imagine are gaining lots of buzz for the legendary actor, but one of the most promising films on Pacino's upcoming slate looks set to be The Humbling.

Friday 29 August 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #36 - How To Stay Awake For Late Night Movies


Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to choose cinema snacks. If you currently have a strange swelling in your stomach that moves when you touch it, there's a strong chance the dried squid you ate in that Korean cinema contained squid eggs that are now hatching inside of you. If that's true, then I really appreciate that you've chosen to ignore your family and loved ones to instead spend your last few moments on earth reading my writing. I genuinely can't think of a better way to end it all.

For those of you not infested by the calamari from hell, summer is winding down and autumn is fast approaching... it's enough to make you sick, isn't it!? If only we could delay the inevitable and make summer last forever. Wait! We can do exactly that, all thanks to the power of cinema. All we need to do is stay awake all night, watching movies until the sun comes up. Ok, that admittedly won't make summer last forever, but it will certainly make it last longer, so close the curtains, heat up the popcorn and tape your eyes open as we read on for today's lesson.

Friday 15 August 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #35 - How To Choose Cinema Snacks


Last time, Film  School Friday taught loyal readers how to make the most of their summer vacation. The key lesson here was to avoid death, as everyone knows that summer is full of scary sharks and angry rednecks. Personally, I find that the best way to stay alive during these terrifying months is to spend every waking hour in a dark room, watching moving pictures with strangers. In other words, living life to the fullest! 

Tuesday 12 August 2014

Robin Williams Dead At 63

Following a long battle with depression, legendary actor Robin Williams was found dead today. The details are still unclear, but what we do know is that Williams was discovered unconscious inside his Californian home by paramedics who rushed him to hospital, where he was later pronounced dead. Suicide by asphyxiation is suspected, but nothing has been confirmed so far.

Friday 1 August 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #34 - How To Make The Most Of Your Summer Vacation


Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to make the perfect movie soundtrack. However, if you just ignored my advice and wrote a Justin Bieber jukebox musical, then I am judging you and I am judging you hard. Saying that though, it could be fun to watch an arrogant douchebag constantly embarrass himself on the big screen... Ok, I know you're thinking that now would be a prime time to insult someone like Shia Labeouf, but I'm not going to do it. I'm better than that... (fingers shaking as he restrains the need to point out anything Labeouf has done in the last ten years).

Monday 28 July 2014

Mad Max: Fury Road - Stunning First Trailer

2015 belongs to the mad...
After years of aborted shoots and production worries, it became easy to denounce Mad Max: Road Fury before any footage was even unveiled, but it turns out we didn't need to worry. The filmmakers finally revealed a three minute trailer at Comic Con 2014 and somehow defied all expectations, making its appearance one of the most talked about events of the festival.

Tuesday 22 July 2014

Gaunt Jake Gyllenhaal in Bizarre Teaser for Nightcrawler

A new viral video has been released to promote Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming crime thriller Nightcrawler, but it is far removed from your typical teaser trailer. The title Nightcrawler is never mentioned, not even in the name of the clip, which is simply called "Hard Worker Seeking Employment" and the Youtube user name is that of Gyllenhaal's character Louis Bloom.

Friday 18 July 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #33 - How To Make The Perfect Soundtrack

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to get the perfect beach body. Unfortunately, every time I've ventured to the coast since, all I've seen is a sea of fat wobbling around in search of the nearest ice cream stall. Why the unfortunately shaped refuse to wear clothes in the summer time is beyond me. Clearly, not enough people could get their hands on Captain America's Super Soldier Serum and pack on the muscle. Ah well. My bad.
Seeing all that jelly on the beach stressed me out and reminded me that I myself am not the stringiest of beans, so it's time we relaxed a little with today's advice. Grab your earphones, lie back and chill as we read on for today's lesson.

Wednesday 16 July 2014

The Big Hero 6 Trailer Is Here! But Where Are The Rest Of The Team?

Superheroes are ridiculously popular right now and Disney have just had their most successful hit in years with Frozen, so it doesn't take a genius to work out that combining the two could be a huge earner at the box office. Lo and behold, Walt Disney Animation Studios have finally released the first full length trailer for Big Hero 6, a Marvel superhero adaptation that looks set to repeat the phenomenal success of Frozen and Wreck-It-Ralph.

Wednesday 9 July 2014

"We're the Fricking Guardians of the Galaxy!" - New Extended Trailer

It's almost here.
Fans have been drooling for the chance to finally see Guardians of the Galaxy for months and now we're only a few short weeks away from the official release, Marvel Studios have released their most exciting trailer yet for the film.

Friday 4 July 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #32 - How to Get the Perfect Beach Body

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to get the perfect haircut, so surely by now, admirers from all around must have surrounded you, begging you to reveal the secret of how you gained your beautiful mane... right? Oh wait, I forgot. Halfway through the last lesson, I gave up on offering advice and suggested a buzz cut or a quick trip down to Sweeney Todd instead. Goddammit! Becoming a movie fiend has given me the attention span of Findng Nemo's Dorey on crack, so today, let's focus on finding another way to look good in the summer time, one which doesn't involve becoming a pie filling.
Unfortunately, it's a sad fact of life that watching movies does not exactly enhance one's figure. Until Hollywood devises a way to give us the perfect abs while devouring a tub of popcorn the size of a small child, it's up to us film fanatics to find a way to keep the weight off. Now, you could buy a fitness DVD or listen to the advice of nutritional experts... PAHAHAHA! Who are we kidding? Obviously, you want advice from someone who actually knows what they're talking about, so gather round my overweight friends, throw away the butter and listen up as we read on for today's lesson.

Wednesday 2 July 2014

Is Tom Hardy Stretching Himself Too Thin By Filming The Revenant?

Tom Hardy is one seriously busy guy.Upcoming projects already include the Kray Twins movie Legend, BBC drama Peaky Blinders, a Mad Max reboot AND an Elton John biopic, but now he's added yet another film to his list, signing on to appear alongside Leonardo DiCaprio in the western thriller The Revenant.

Wednesday 25 June 2014

More Stupidity from the International Trailer for Dumb and Dumber To

Earlier this month, Universal Pictures released the first trailer for the brilliantly titled Dumb and Dumber To and already, the international trailer has arrived online. While the new promo starts off the same, the second half features new footage of the two idiots Lloyd (Jim Carrey) and Harry (Jeff Daniels) as they search to find Harry's grown-up daughter, twenty years after the events of the first film.

Tuesday 24 June 2014

New Simon Pegg Trailer for Hector and the Search for Happiness

Simon Pegg has enjoyed unlikely success in recent years, taking on leading roles despite not fitting into Hollywood's conventional idea of what a male movie star should be. After fighting zombies, saving the world and even fixing the Enterprises warp drive, the British actor has now set his sights on... searching for happiness?

Friday 20 June 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #31 - How To Get The Perfect Haircut

Last time, Film School Friday surprised loyal readers with another thrilling end of term quiz that almost crashed the internet because it was that popular! Well, it could have also been caused by that video of a cat performing open heart surgery, but my money is on Film School Friday...
As we approach July, it's time to rock out those beach bodies in search of some summer loving, right? Wait... what do you mean you live on a diet of nothing but hot dogs, natchos and popcorn? God damn you cinemas! Fine. Forget working out. What can we do to improve our appearance that requires minimal effort? Ok... I got it. Stick with me loyal readers and grab the scissors as we read on for today's lesson.  

Tuesday 17 June 2014

Luke Evans Mimics Batman in New Poster for Dracula Untold

The first poster for Universal's upcoming period horror Dracula Untold has officially been released.
In the promo picture, Luke Evans (The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug) broods over a gothic landscape, brandishing a sword as his cape transforms into a group of bats. The image is certainly an effective one, but comparisons with Batman and even Van Helsing spring instantly to mind, hinting that originality may not be a key concern of Universal's at this stage. Hmm...

Friday 6 June 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #30 - End of Term Quiz

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to build a cinematic universe. It's a lot like Lego really. Once you've finished building something and it looks like crap, just smash it all down again and try again using the same pieces a couple of years later. God knows it worked for Spider-Man...
As we reach our 30th edition here at Film School Friday, I thought it was about time all you loyal readers (hi again mum) are rewarded with a prize, something that you will take away and cherish for the rest of your days here on earth... The title was probably a give away for those of you who can read, but yes, that's right guys. It's time for... ANOTHER END OF TERM QUIZ!

Friday 23 May 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #29 - How To Build A Cinematic Universe

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to become a scene stealing extra because... well we have more than enough doctors around these days and us film freaks need something to fund our netflix accounts. Problem is, no matter how hard you try to steal the spotlight, most directors will cut you out in the editing suite. I know. It's ridiculous. Film makers can go mad with power yet half the time, they can't even do their jobs properly.
Take a look at the mammoth blockbusters coming out these days. Every studio seems desperate to build their own cinematic universe so they can keep churning out ready made sequels for the masses that require little or no introduction. Why waste time on original thought when you can just recycle the same characters and settings over and over? Am I right guys??? There's plenty of money to be made if you can build your very own cinematic universe; just ask Marvel! So let's forget our dream of becoming extras, purge all creativity from our minds and grab a directors chair as we read on for today's lesson.

Monday 19 May 2014

Ryan Gosling's Directorial Debut Lost River Has A Teaser Trailer Out!

Women worldwide suffered Post-Traumatic Gosling Syndrome (PTGS) when the charming young actor who stole audiences hearts in Drive and Blue Valentine announced he would be taking a break from acting... to concentrate on directing. Usually, such a decision instills fear in the hearts and minds of cinema lovers everywhere, but Gosling looks set to buck the trend with his directorial debut Lost River, which premieres this week at Cannes Film Festival.

Friday 9 May 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #28 - How To Become a Scene Stealing Extra

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to make an awesome sequel. Hopefully, the makers of the 'critically lauded' movie Zombeavers will have read the article and will be implementing my advice at every step while they begin work on the inevitable sequel. I'm pretty sure zombie beavers are going to be huge this year, so I'll just wait by my front door, staring longingly at my letterbox for the cheque which will be on it's way in no time at all...
Once I receive my cheque, I'm sure I'll no longer have to work full-time, so goodbye teaching and hello to a life of endless chicken binging and netflix marathons... Living the dream right? Obviously yes, but even that could get boring eventually, so I may work part-time occasionally, just to distract myself from the copious amounts of chicken lining my stomach.
So what part-time job requires zero talent and effort, but still sounds pretty awesome if you're a movie fan? I've got it! Get ready to practice your smize, wave those arms around and generally be an attention seeking asshole as you read on for today's lesson.

Thursday 8 May 2014

Power Rangers Set To Hit The Big Screen Again... Whether You Like It Or Not!

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Depending on your age, this franchise will trigger a variety of reactions. Some of you may watch the ninety billionth incarnation of the TV show currently airing and love it. Some of you may remember watching Power Rangers as a kid and feel pretty old right now... don't worry guys, I hear you! Finally, there's the older generation who won't even know what the hell I'm talking about. If so, then stick around anyway; this information will probably be useful in a few summers time.

Friday 25 April 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #27 - How To Make The Ultimate Sequel

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to change their gender. Body swapping is probably the best way to go here, but just make sure you don't accidentally swap with a child or you'll have to go through puberty all over again, knowing exactly what to expect this time...
There is something to be said for seeing the world through the eyes of a child though. Even the lamest blockbusters had a certain magic to them which enchanted my tiny 9 year old mind. How else can I explain my obsession with Joel Schumacher's Batman & Robin? It sure as hell wasn't anything to do with the acting, writing or directing! Let's help kids of the future escape these banal sequels here in today's lesson so grab your laptop, smash open that piggy bank and pull up your director's chair.

Monday 14 April 2014

Avatar 2, 3 and 4 Are Finally On Their Way... Kind Of!

Things may have seemed a bit quiet on the Avatar front recently, but James Cameron is not one to just sit on his laurels and do nothing. Lucky sci-fi fans got the latest scoop on the Avatar franchise from Cameron during an AMA session (Ask Me Anything Q&A) on Reddit last Saturday.

Friday 11 April 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #26 - How To Change Your Gender

Last time, Film School Friday taught readers how to annoy people at the cinema. If you got kicked out of the new Captain America movie then I apologize, but remember to only use your new found skills sparingly as a revenge tactic on those who munch natchos too loudly. With great power, comes great responsibility...
Apologies also for being a week late with this new edition of Film School Friday. Life in South Korea is a whirlwind of donuts and soju which takes some getting used to. I barely had to time to watch the new Captain America movie 6 times. That's how busy I am!
The temptation to tenuously link today's feature with the previous edition is as strong as ever, but today I will resist and simply introduce  our new lesson.

Friday 21 March 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #25 - How To Annoy People At The Cinema

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to direct a film in the style of M. Night Shyamalan. Some may dispute the utility of such a lesson but you know what? For the sake of democracy and all that is right in the world, we can't let him and Adam Sandler win all the Razzies. It's just getting boring now.
Now that you're the Spielberg of crap movies, what next? Well, you're clearly on a roll now, annoying audiences left, right and center  with moronic films like After Earth, but let's take things up a notch. Let's learn how to annoy audiences  inside the cinema itself, guerrilla style!

Wednesday 12 March 2014

Anthony and Joe Russo Return To Direct Captain America 3...Already!

Marvel Studios must be feeling seriously confident right now. The first instalment of the Captain America franchise performed well, but is often considered to be one of the weaker films Marvel released in the past decade. However, Captain America: The Winter Soldier has just been screened for the media and the initial reactions are overwhelmingly positive.

Friday 7 March 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #24 - Directing Masterclass: M. Night Shyamalan

Last time, Film School Friday taught loyal readers how to win an Academy Award. Congratulations! Receiving an Oscar is the most prestigious prize one can receive working in the film industry, even if it is just for making a Robin Thicke biopic set in Nazi occupied Poland. If you don't get the reference, shame on you for not being a regular reader!
Still with me? Reaching the top of your game is certainly impressive but it also raises the all-important question; Where do you go from here? After winning an Oscar, Nicolas Cage went bat shit crazy, Charlize Theron starred in some crappy sci-fi and Halle Berry started using cat nip. Think that’s bad? Some film makers even seem content to let their career slide after only receiving an Academy Award nomination, somehow becoming less and less talented until their entire awards cabinet fills with Razzies instead of Oscars. See where I’m going with this? Let’s all get our smug face on then and practice our wooden acting skills as we read on for today’s lesson.

Thursday 27 February 2014

Nine Animated Disney Characters Who May Be Stuck In The Closet

Homosexuality is more prominent in the mainstream than it has ever been before and now even Disney is getting in on the act. The studios latest animation Frozen featured Disney's first prince to be voiced by an openly gay man and the hit TV show Good Luck Charlie has recently announced that a lesbian couple will appear in an upcoming storyline. How scandalous!
It's refreshing to see one of the world's largest corporations finally relax their conservative views somewhat, although unfortunately, an openly gay Disney prince or princess still seems some way off. If only the Mickey Mouse crew could take a leaf out of Laika's page, the production company who featured a male character come out at the end of last year's Paranorman.
For now though, we'll just have to contend with the 'secretly' gay characters who regularly pop up in Disney animation. That's right guys. Some of your favourite cartoons from childhood may have batted for the other team. Why else do you think the Cave of Wonders only opened up for Aladdin? If you don't believe me, read on to find out which nine animated Disney characters may be stuck in the closet. Big emphasis on the 'may'. PS. I won't even insult your intelligence by including Ryan Evans from High School Musical on the list.

Wednesday 26 February 2014

Ghostbusters 3 Still Moving Forward Despite Ramis' Death

Only a day after the death of Harold Ramis, Hollywood has already begun to revise their plans regarding the development of Ghostbusters 3THR reports that director, Ivan Reitman will soon meet with Sony officials to discuss how to keep the project afloat in light of recent events. 

Friday 21 February 2014

Film School Friday Lesson #23 - How To Win An Oscar

Last time, Film School Friday taught readers how to survive a Valentines break up by murdering their exes in the most dramatic way possible. The problem with that is that the suffering won't last for long, even if you tie your ex to a chair and starve them to death while forcing them to watch Super Size Me on an Imax sized screen. It's just not enough.
This is where I'm going to throw caution to the wind and suggest something unusually sensible for once, something that won't get you arrested or leave you stranded in space, barking to a random Chinese man fifty gazillion miles away. Pay attention. This won't happen again any time soon. My advice to the spurned lovers out there is to just simply be the bigger person. No, I'm not saying you go out and re-enact Super Size Me on a grand scale, but you do need to have some dignity and try not to get petty about things. What's the best way to do that? Win an Oscar. That'll show those smug, good for nothing bastards what they're missing out on, so start writing your speech, pick out a dress and grab that award polish as you read on for today's lesson.

Wednesday 19 February 2014

But I'm a Cheerleader (1999): Mini Movie Review

A lot of things can get in the way of finding time to review films, including work, family and global warming, but some movies still deserve a mention, so that’s where my Mini Movie Reviews come in. Each is less than 100 words long or your money back. That’s a promise people! Today it’s But I'm a Cheerleader.

Friday 14 February 2014

My Neighbors The Yamadas (1999): Mini Movie Review

A lot of things can get in the way of finding time to review films including work, family and THE ATTACK OF THE FLYING MONKEYS, but some movies still deserve a mention, so that’s where my Mini Movie Reviews come in. Each is less than 100 words long or your money back. That’s a promise people! Today it’s My Neighbors The Yamadas.