Saturday 6 October 2012

Five Reasons Why You Should Love Resident Evil: Retribution!

Let’s get one thing straight; The Resident Evil films are terrible. I know it. You know it. Milia Jovovich knows it. Hell, the whole world knows it. But there’s just something about this film franchise that does it for me. And it’s not just because of the original games (which I love by the way). There’s something about the ridiculous fight scenes, wooden acting and barely-there plot which just combines into something awfully brilliant. And I can’t get enough of it.

My mission today is to basically persuade any snooty film fans out there to give Resident Evil: Retribution a chance, purely for entertainment value alone. Sure it’s bad on every level but that’s what makes it so good! So here are five reasons why you should throw away your preconceptions and buy yourself a Resident Evil: Retribution ticket. Right now. This very second. So let's get started.

1. ‘My name is Alice

A Resident Evil film wouldn’t be a Resident Evil film without Milia Jovovitch saying her opening monologue. Sure there’s not much plot to speak of but by god, her character Alice is going to fill you in on the scraps of back story that you might have missed anyway. It's become such a staple of the series that Milia has even posted a video online of her singing a quick song based around that classic line. Isn't she awesome? Enjoy.
 2. The First Scene
The opening scene was surprisingly effective with some experimental film-making from Mr Anderson. The entire beginning is shown in reverse, with bullets flying back into the guns they were shot from and corpses springing back to life off the floor. It's also unintentionally funny in places, with super-serious enemy soldiers flying backwards through the air back into the helicopters. What makes me laugh the most though is how wooden the Jill Valentine character still is, even without dialogue and in backwards slow-motion. Now that's a talent right there!
3. 'You're all going to die down here'
That Red Queen. What a bitch. In the new film, this creepy AI returns once again in her little British girl form. She's pretty ineffective throughout this one but you can't have a Resi film without her. Here's a clip of her most memorable line from the first film, which she repeats again in Retribution for all those fanboys who have bothered to stick with the franchise. 
4. Slo-mo

Sure The Matrix was famous for its innovative use of slow-motion but no one over-uses it quite like Anderson in the Resident Evil films. Without slo-mo, I estimate that Resident Evil: Retribution’s 95 minute long running time would hit somewhere more around the 30 minute mark. Pretty much every fight scene utilises the technique to a ridiculous extent, verging somewhere between incredible action film-making and camera work verging on a Michael Bay parody. My favourite action scene has to be in the corridor where Milia faces off against a horde of zombies with just one gun and a chain ALL IN SLOW-MOTION! For like ages. It's insanely brilliant. Here she is running from them;
And here she is kicking their asses!

5. And finally, it's Milia Jovovitch

Love. Without love, Milia Jovovitch would be an A-list star by now. Unfortunately for her career, Milia married B-list director Paul W.S. Anderson and has since appeared in pretty much every film he has directed. Lucky for the franchise though as Milia is incredible in every scene she’s in. While her character Alice is not quite up there with Ripley as the greatest sci-fi heroine ever, she’s pretty damn close. Without Milia, I don’t think the franchise would have got past the first film and her talent is made all the more impressive when compared to all the wooden acting around her. I’m just waiting now for Milia to bag another film role that will catapult her to the A-list. She’s already got the looks and the talent. Now she just needs a film directed by someone other than her husband.

There you have it, Five reasons why you MUST watch Resident Evil: Retribution. Ignore all the naysayers, with their knowledge of art cinema and good taste; Resident Evil: Retribution is where its at! Share and comment if you agree.

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